SHE

 

There is a list for her to fulfil

Theres a check list that you have made

So she can be unmade 


One: She must like football and want to sit in the stalls

is that what they are called

with you

Two she must be okay with you drinking till you pass out

And preferably join you

Hot and wasted your perfect type

Spliff in hand, crotch ever ready thats the way

 

Three your mates must want to fuck her

 

Four she must not say too much

Just enough to be enough

Just enough to be on trend enough

But not know her mind too much

To walk away from the banter that becomes a form of verbal rape

In fact the more she laughs at tits and dicks and rape jokes the better

Then for then she shall fit right in

 

Five she must have friends you want to fuck

A tribe of sisters you can mock and denigrate

 

Six she cant be older than you

In the wet fantasy you want mrs robinson to pin you down and teach you a thing or two

But actually

She must be younger

So you can school her

So you can show her the ropes of life to hang herself with

So she is malleable enough for you

 

Seven, she mustn't say too much

She can be a feminist, radicalist, march on streets with flags and whistles

You can carry her on your shoulders for photos opps across the media waves

But she cant have an opinion beyond that, and she must be hot dont forget

Her radicalising must be hot

 

Eight it would be cool if she was a bit witchy used words like consciousness, did cleanses and yoga

Lit candles and incense and talked about tantra

But not too witchy woo woo not too off the scale earth mama thats not hot

That makes you feel like you dont know enough

like you could never learn at the skirts of her soul

And you dont like that

You dont like to feel out of control with her

 

Nine your family must approve she must not soil the bloodline

The exotics are for play but what you take home to mamma must be pure blood

 

And ten she must never ever know more, do more earn more, yearn more push you to grow

She must never ever shine brighter than you

Her light must never ever out glow your ego

She must tick all for a chance to win you, she must tick all for a chance to win 

Copyright A. Agha 

 

For Thus She Was Made

Some Words Some men have said to me:

You need a man who will break you like a horse

I want to fuck you till you bleed

My friends thought you were fuckable

I bet you like it dirty

I bet you like to scratch

You're too much

You're too outspoken

You're a little bit crazy aren't you

Id give you the best sex of your life

 

Am I? Would you? Look at me? What do you see?

 

A banshee she wolf roaring at the leash

waiting to be fucked till she bleeds,

waiting for your colonial touch to bring her to life

 

What do you see?

Ive turned myself inside and upside down

 

Maybe if my nose was less Paki and more Roman


maybe if I was less brown and more white

 

Maybe if I had blue eyes

 

Maybe if I had blonde hair

 

He would want me he would love me they would see me

 

Your wife, your girlfriend

delete as applicable here

she well she is the one who is the delicate flower growing out of the dirt

 

Me?

Im just the dirt you can piss in, shit in, come over

and walk away from

 

She? She gets hurt easily-her

you wouldn't want any man to break her

look at her, speak to her in a way that felt off

you'd blow his head off

knock him to the ground, stamp out his last breath

 

But me? Oh my brown skin can take it

hide a multitude of bruises like an ever evolving sun kissed tanning 

 

Me?

My Paki face can take it, my big nose and funny skin can take it.

because me? Im made of the stuff of witches and warlocks of Jinns and terrorists

dont we all just sit around eating curry

banging our chests

reading the Koran

beating our wives anyway

 

Did I not know that anyway?


I did

have known great violence

spilling across the ancestral line like spilt blood again and again

woman on woman mother on child

father on daughter

husband to wife

I have seen every permutation of it every nuanced finger tip


When did the first mother beat her child, the first husband beat his wife

 

Are You telling me it never happened in your blood line? 

 

You telling me the viking nordic princess you cuddle up next to

she never knew great blood shed in her line?

 

That her ancestors didnt spill some blood?

 

They are doing it now but thats okay brown blood mixes well in the dirt anyway 

 

Matches the tears and the stained under skirts of the brown girls lying across fields of your mind

 

Waiting to be ploughed so they can be freed from their culture

so they can be emancipated into your blood line

so you can say you came and you came and you came

 

Yes brown girls dont bleed and if they do they love it

it is the reason they were made dont you know

 

On the 8th day God made a brown girl and said she shall be receptacle of all your self loathing and hatred

when you cant hit your blonde white wife

when the viking princess mocks you and emasculates time and again

makes you a comedy sketch for her mates, drowns out the fires of your dreams

But hey least her parents have money

the rents paid up

And your mates love how hot she is

And your mates love to get drunk with her

And your mates would fuck her

And your parents added her on social media

Yeah they love her

Yeah

the brown girl will save you

 

she shall pour into you her libations of heaven and take your hell and make it manna again

 

Your brown girl will be your salvation and like the dirt beneath your feet she shall stay the tests of time to be trampled on time and again


And out of her tears shall be birthed the viking princesses you so crave

 

The brown girl shall do all that for

thus she was made

 

And so your God said 

 

For thus she was made

Copyright AA

SOMETIMES ANOTHER 

 

Sometimes

We stand at a point

we look left and right

and ask which way do I go?

We do not know who to side with

who to listen to

Because at one point we did not listen and 

then

everything became

this

 

Sometimes we stand at a point

and we do not hear what the heart is saying

be quiet we shame it into silence

that is just fear

stop now and be brave we push and strain 

to make the mind our best ally

 

But the soul that sits deep within 

the cells knows

that left or right

the choices that make and un- make us

come easily and hard

that right and wrong exist only in heaven and hell

that polarities are a construct of the confused

 

the soul knows that every time we did not listen

we did not hear

the voice that said no

and did it anyway

that was a time when we betrayed 

and were cheated on

when we abandoned 

and were rejected

by no god no partner no lover

just our dear little selves

running from our dear little selves

believing the answers lay in another 

Copyright A. Agha

 

BELIEF

Theres nothing to say

Just pools of nothing expanding across the air waves 

from me to you

Theres nothing to say just a solace 

in timescapes dissolving into space and 

Theres nothing to say

Just how much we hate each other 

compete with each other and make each other cry

Wonder why
And play games across the landscapes of our lives

You to me to me to you

There is no tithe that ties us into continual service and servitude

 

A forest of mirrors all around us

Tells us that the nature we run from is our innate self

 

A merry go round of screeching howling laughter

That hides the deep mistrust of life

The deep sense of self hatred and strife

we mask as we show the world how very happy we are

As we make sure to take that moment treble it and say

See how very happy I am just there

But your'e not

We are not

We cannot

Be

Happy 

Content 

In 

Separation

That is not how this works

 

Union asks we come home to all parts of us

We mouth the words but the inner graveyard is spilling rotting corpses who

bleed into our veins and 

make us sick

 

The sickness feels familiar and we seek the familiar and run from the new

 

Half a million lifetimes ago

You walked with me hand in hand

Placed your arms around me

And told me we would be together till the end of time

I have no doubts

That when the sands fall out of this hour glass

And the unified chorus calls cut

when we pull away the screens of the mind

There you will be 

Telling me you always loved me

I just couldn't see

I didn’t believe love was for me

There you will be

COPYRIGHT AAGHA

Get Over It

Why dont you just get over it

Why dont you just do a little ritual

stand by the sea 

and let it all go

why dont you just put the past to rest

its enough now

I mean come on

how long will you keep holding on

how long now

 

bow the head down

sow more seeds of shame

try to reclaim

what was lost

try to stand on feet bleeding

forget that the thorns are still embedded deep

 

why dont you get over it

why dont you put the past to rest

why dont you

 

Just like that

why dont you spread your legs a little wider

let him sink even deeper

why dont you just relent

and have him have what he wanted

what you obviously asked for

 

why dont you just let go

uptight

who are you saving yourself for

frigid

why dont you just let go

I wanted to teach you a lesson

the best sex you ever had

if you'd just let go

if you'd just let me

 

why dont you just let go

this grip on life

the grip on hope

they take

take

you

bury in the dirt

get over it 

get  over it

 

Other women do

Why dont you just get over it

sow more seeds

what you reep someone once sowed

didnt ask just did it anyway

why not just get over it

Copyright AA

The Sisters are Rising

We are not the daughters of the witches you burned

we are the witches you burned

the charred remains of flesh hangs off our ancient bones

for we did not die

We have been holding space in this fragmented state

so the sisters could dance

so the ones you now stand beside 

the ones you now hold aloft

the ones that are now the palatable face of sorcery can fly

we are the ones who made this happen

but you have forgotten us

the hags you would rather leave behind

we speak too much 

our banshee cry is too raw for you

you'd rather we wore red lipstick and heels

took to a stage somewhere made a performance piece about our lives

you'd rather we were on a plinth in ticker tape naked

so you could say thats her thats she isn’t she great- hot too

you don’t value the witch who sits in darkness of night

sows seeds under a full moon

lets her blood flow into the earth

births life from her tears

tells you what she sees in teacups and strains

no no how dare we soil the landscape of acceptability 

how dare we lay bare our selves in such an uncomfortable way

what would your mates say?

how could we all sit around sipping champagne discussing the latest concept

you fear the true witch may suddenly bloat up and fly away across a room

shame you

there she goes again

too much for me

no he says

i like my witchcraft in a nice bottle

preferably young bodied and full

with a side helping of popular thrown in

oh yes the sisters are rising

treading on the discarded bones of the crones

of the ancient ones that no one wants

the sisters are rising on  the blood and tears of the silent ones

who held the space for years

the sisters are rising 

 

Copyright A. Agha 

Tiny Seeds

A tiny seed 

falls on fertile land

takes root

Just

The waters come

The winds blow

and the tides of life

Take it in “another 

direction”

Tiny seeds need love to grow

walls of blood

to hold onto

to feed off on

when the love dies

changes

the seed is flushed 

away

and the

walls remain empty

tiny seeds

tiny seeds 

seek a place to call home

 

 

AA

 

AI Woman Where Have all the Good Men Gone?

If he cant withstand the passions and tempers of a real woman

he shall run and seek out the AI

She looks the part looks great on the arm

but deep down he knows something is missing

theres a coldness to the touch and despite the moans and noises she makes

theres a creak to the tones

and the lizard touch just doesn’t leave

your bones

 

little boys run scared from a real woman

she’s too raw

her honesty asks too much of him

he wishes to be in her bosom

runs when she asks for help

little boys run to little girls who are playing dress up mouth the words fake the walk

in the long run of runs

running from his truth

the little boy stays a boy

the little girl finds her safety

and no one ever really grows up

 

Oh like the chorus of an 80’s song

the heart asks

where have all the good men gone

the ones who would fight to win your love

stick it out when it got messy

they didn’t up and leave they didn’t run and hide under lizard tails

They stayed

 

Where have all the good men gone

the ones who whispered in your ear as they kissed your neck

I will win you over I will prove my love to you

You dont trust me yet

but you will

and they came back for you

they kept their word

they didnt play dark lord games

they kept their word 

jacket over puddle, hand on the small of your back

We have turned ourselves inside out to be the best woman for the best man

only to find he left a long time ago

went and built his perfect cyber woman who would never really push him to dis-comfort

So he would never have to grow

The percent AI cyber lass who would never shatter his heart

safe behind the glass of constructed relationship and love

Bitter? No God no

Disappointed at the mythical man catcher that has drugged our good men into a fateful sleep

Is it now for the empress to kiss him awake?

Between You and Me

Whatever he says you believe him

to not is to betray him

you want to save him

keep him safe from the space 

he cannot bear to reside in

 

whatever he does you protect him

you want to mother and seduce him

whatever he wants you offer up to him

trawling the streets for his medicine

 

you come back

bruised and battered

doesnt matter

if its inside 

or a black eye

 

you come back

blue black heart

bleeding soul

you come back

 

love wins he told you

love wins you said

love is a word taken by those to justify the unspeakable

shhh its our secret

dont tell anyone

love made me do it

 

demons dance in the spaces between the L and the V

between me and you

demons dance in the spaces between O and E

between you and me

 

 

Copyrighted Amber Agha 

New Beginnings

Ive held on for so long

so tightly

against the cyclone that took over

calling your name

but each time I tried to keep a grasp

you let go a little bit more

till my hands are bleeding

and my throat is smarting from the calling

 

Ive held on for so long

hoping for a reprieve

a chance to make it all right

 

and then Ive realised

there is nothing I need seek penance for

my time is done

my cell is dismantling

and the hands that bleed

are healing

holding on to the purity

of love

sought

given

and received

when the time comes

I shall dance like never before

and know I have truly come home

to me

and all I own

 

Men Speak Up

You're looking to him to be the father you never got

the role model you forever sought

but he's not

 

his dark banter that takes you into the gutter

is not the way to empowered manhood

it will alienate you from the love you seek

and further

take you into a web you have tried to shed

forever 

 

Hes the father no one wanted

the drunken boozy confused lech at the table of life

over weight and that is not a crime

but when a man with a belly so big he cant even see his feet

tells a woman she wants him

that she loves it dirty 

and you, do not defend her

watch her close down her petals and freeze

 

the man with the big belly who cannot control his mouth

not his words not his hunger

 

the man who bullies a woman and you did not defend her

you did not defend 

so how can you expect her

to open to you

when you did not defend

her from the demon in our midst

 

rape is rape is rape

if you force your body into her space and she never asked for it thats rape

if you make sexualised comments about her that is rape

sat in a space with men laughing at how she loves it dirty

that is rape

that is rape

shout it out till your big bloated ears hear 

bloated on the lies you tell

i choose to demean his body right now in the way he keeps demeaning hers do you see

he says she loves it

I say how could anyone love that body of his do you see

will you cry that I am fat shaming now?

 

stop body molesting and raping women with your words

your deeds 

men like you are the lice on our land

and the men who do not speak up

need to man up

not to suppress and fight it out

man up

and remember the true meaning of manhood

of the sacred masculine

to defend the goddess in your midst

you seek her yoni her warmth and yet you offer nothing in return

just an expectation that a quick drink and a fumble will be her sustenance

you want the whole universe

you want the secrets of life to be revealed to you 

they lie

in her thighs her sighs her love and her insides

they lie in her sighs

but you shall never reach these places if you do not hold the space for her to feel safe

deny her safety and she can destroy you decry you and outrun you

and you will be left impotent on the shores of life

angry but at who

the false gods you gave your light to

she awaits you, her chalice is full

but you shall not drink as long as you desecrate her and demean her

you shall die of thirst should you pursue and burn her

so for your own lives for the sanity and the safety you seek

love your women with all your manhood can muster

and with your love around her watch her rise to take you home 

to all your have desired

and all you have forever known 

watch her rise to take you home 

 

The Mists

You think you won't come out of the mists. You think this could be the end. The mind races and thinks all kinds of things. Then you remember what a way to go. On the waters of life held by the tides of time. So you let go and say well what will be will be. And when you come out of the mists so much beauty awaits you and you know that if you did it once you can do it again!

Destinia

A wave of generational tales flows through me

My yoni my body a benchmark for every blow

every stamp of ownership

 

tales of so many that weep through me

That seep into pores

confuse and remind me

of who I am who I forgot to be

 

There are screams of so many that wail through me

I cry them into buckets of brown goo

dancing with the mother

the sacred brew

as she takes me home to the stars

and to you

 

And beneath that all is a rage 

 

a shame

 

a shame of the named and nameless

the women who wiped themselves down and

pulled their clothes back on

washed themselves clean 

and told themselves it never happened

 if it did

it was down to us

we said something did something caused this

 

these tales have mired the magic 

of the darker spaces

the places

of knowing 

infinite

sacred

Untouched 

 

tales of the past cannot define the imaginings of the now

the screams of the many

cannot drown out the music 

 

This is a new time

an uprising of that which has already risen time and again

a re awakening in a way never woken before

Never known before

where will she go

Her call her song her dance is wild chaotic

It goes goes this way and that

 

 

Could you hold the man who held you down

in your arms and forgive him

could you hold the woman who betrayed you 

Could you love enough to set yourself

free

 

rivers of blood

rivers of the new

born again

cells of life

brought to life

anew

In this moment

no longer

woman, daughter, sister, child, mother

no labels

no definition

In this moment

limitless 

This moment

Born

Again